Summer has come and gone with emotions of every sort. But this feeling which is stuck on my heart right now has not been felt since the last disaster. Im not sad, mad, or lonely. Im just waiting. Waiting for another day to surprise me with happiness and reality shielded away for crack pipe way. Today is the day i anticipated and now look at me, I'm bathing in my own tears rocking myself back and forth so the crying comes down to a hush. Tried to reach out for some help but that fails as usual. The only one who helped is now gone.
The one whom i always ask for advice; he plays with my mind and she always tells me that his intentions are dishonorable. I choose to ignore and believe he's better than the man he portrays himself as. His friends and family says he's "quite the man hoe," but hey everyone in this society gets reputations which don't fit the person. Im hooked like a fish, and he knows it. "He takes advantage of you," she tries to make me understand. But i still see more in him than what he shows. Im just waiting for him to let down his guard and untie his mask.
My angel introduced me to this man with no hope. He wasn't always like this, people change as they grow. He just changes with trends but not with his type. I still put my hope and compassion to him but now my test is to live for her and myself. Try to care for myself and not hurt me in the process as my actions always turn me to.
She's looking out for me as i am for her. This new chapter of my life has opened but its shit scary to leave behind a man in the battle field. This time i wont take love for granted and will show that i am putting my everything into her. My living soul across the atlantic.
